I don't know whether it is because of the fact that we turned the corner to 33 Weeks today or because miraculously I didn't have to get out of bed once last night to go to the bathroom (which hasn't happened in weeks haha) or because of the phone calls and emails we have been getting from family and friends, but I am feeling much more optimistic today and decided that today is going to be a good day!
It's been incredibly hard to concentrate on anything other than what's going on with Jackson. This week has gone by incredibly slow (I still can't believe it's only Wednesday) and the days at work are going by even slower.
Yesterday was a productive day I think, despite still feeling very frustrated, confused and emotionally drained after two more doctor's appointments. I was able to get my second dose of the Betamethasone steroid yesterday morning so in another 24 hours Jackson will be considered fully dosed-up! I have had a few side effects from the steroids but that should wind down now that I don't have more shots (at least most likely not unless something changes). I have had a lot of hip and back pain over the past two days which can be a side effect, as well as restlessness (which explains the awful night of sleep on Monday) but overall not to bad. I found myself feeling pretty miserable last night because along with the hip and lower back pain, I got hit with a monster case of heartburn and also started to have sciatic nerve pain as well. But then I realized that today was Jackson's 33 week milestone and that no matter how crappy I feel, and even if it gets 1,000 times worse for me, it's all worth it because that's just one more day that Jackson is getting stronger and is staying out the NICU. So bring on the heartburn, the shooting pains down my back and legs, the swelling, the headaches, the stuffed up noses, the lack of sleep, you name it. Every day counts and that's a small price to pay for being able to keep little Jackson where he is for just one more day.
This whole thing has certainly been a roller coaster and yesterday I was really on the downhill slope, but today, I feel like I am ready to climb until the next dip hits. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, and I am sure later tonight I will slip back into the nervous wreck that I am before each appointment since it's a day to day thing, but until that point, I'm just focusing on getting through today and getting that little baby to 33 weeks and 1 day.
I was thinking about posting the normal 33 Week "How's your baby growing" status today but since Jackson isn't quite hitting that mark, who knows what he is concentrating on this week! Apparently he is supposed to weigh a little over 4 pounds and have passed the 17-inch mark but hopefully we will find out tomorrow what his estimate weight and length really is. Again, he is supposed to be rapidly losing that wrinkled look but with not much weight on him, he is probably a skinny minnie, little wrinkled old man. :)
So I will continue to keep everyone posted through the blog on our daily progress! Tomorrow is the next little hurdle to get through, as it's Jackson's next NST, but hopefully he is going to keep up the good work and movement and pass the test with flying colors!
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Your strength through this whole pregnancy is definitely inspiring many. Even though I'm not pregnant anymore, I can take that same advice from you... the "one day at a time" attitude in dealing with a lot of things right now. And I NEED to take that advice because I'm worrying a bit too much about too many things. I'm trying to control every situation and scenario, and with a 2yr old & 3 month old -- that's not possible!
ReplyDeleteSo thank you for sharing your story and your challenges. You guys are in our prayers!!!