Is It Worth It?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

As I eluted to before, I have a week long business trip this week that although is only in Virgina, it's far away enough, and has a busy enough schedule to not allow me to head home at all this week. So, I am writing this from my very dark, hot and boring conference center room and find myself questions whether or not signing up for something that could potentially help my career/performance review is really worth being away from Emma and Wes for a full week?

The day started out just as pretty much every other day starts. Although I was a little quicker to get out of bed when I heard Emma wake up this morning because I knew I wouldn't be able to see that stunning morning smile for a week. The day was kind of crazy with teething, laundry, packing, etc and I quickly found myself in a terrible mood which was really sad because I really wanted to spend my remaining few hours with Wes and Emma and when we weren't chasing around and trying to calm a teething baby, one of us was upstairs and the other was downstairs. I don't think more than 20 words were said on the drive to the rental car facility. A lot of what put me into such a funk was just thinking about Emma changes on a daily basis now and all I could think about was what I was going to miss this week. Was she going to start walking? What if she says a new word? What if she forgets me or is mad at me when I get back? It took all of my might to hold back my tears when saying goodbye and I did pretty good, until I got into my rental car.

After waiting almost 30 minutes in line when there were only 2 people in front of me, getting lost on the way to the conference center, arriving 30 seconds before a huge summer storm (I was literally running with my 3,393 pound suitcase into the building, having the power go out as I was checking in, trying to get to my room on the 6th floor with no elevators and not having any power I REALLY started to question, was this worth it?

I am sure that a lot of what I am feeling is just because this is my first time leaving Emma for more than one night, but I can't help but think about whether this is something that I really want to do or not, now or in the future. Thank goodness I have the Internet and I can keep my spirits up by continuing to plan her 1st Birthday party which is right around the corner!

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