This is one of those posts where I don't exactly know where it's going to go, but I just feel like typing some things out so bear with me! I don't really even know who reads this blog, or how many people do (okay, so I know that part because I can see the stats) but really, I don't know who reads it. I'm not trying to be one of the super popular bloggers with thousands of followers, and frankly, that would scare the living daylights out of me! I post about totally random topics and despite the fact that I have no idea if anyone even cares, I still like it. It forces me sometimes to sit down and try to work through things in my head. I love to go through my old post, especially about the kids, because it's so easy to forget the little things when life gets so crazy. I will often go back and read my old postpartum depression posts as well. Sometimes it's hard to read those, and it doesnt take long for that same feeling in the pit of my stomach to come back. But sometimes it makes me proud. Proud to see how far I have come. Proud that I was willing to share my story, even if it fell on deaf ears. I will be the first to tell you about how HORRIBLE my memory is. So my blog often is a great reminder. It reminds me about all the goals that I have set. It reminds me to keep things simple. It reminds me about what is truly important to me. It reminds me about the things that truly make me happy.

Like I said, I have no idea where this is going haha.

One of the things I have been thinking about lately is not necessarily things that I want to do (although the list of things to do is always there), but things I want to STOP doing.

I don't know what it was, but I feel like there was a mental switch that I made a while ago. I can't pinpoint a particular day, or event which caused the switch, but whatever it was, I've been enjoying the results. I'm still struggling with anxiety every now and then, but feel like I have a much better handle on things . Heck, I even let Emma go to a Birthday party without having a bath first!! I know! That's big!!

I have started to look at things in a much more positive way, instead of dwelling on the negatives. This probably seems pretty cheesy, but I've felt happier over the past say six months then I have felt in a long time. Not that I was unhappy before by any means, but maybe I was just focusing too much on things that weren't going like I wanted them to, instead of focusing on how many things were going so well.

I feel incredibly blessed and instead of feeling all "woe is me" like I have done a lot in the past, I feel blessed every single day now. I have an amazing husband, who loves his family more than anything. I have two beautiful, crazy, happy children who make me laugh every single day. I have a job that I love (most of the time). I have a roof over my head, food on the table, an amazing family on both my side and Wes's side and I'm lucky enough to have financial stability (at least so far...stupid sequestration). What else do you need in life?

It doesn't matter if life gets crazy for a while. It doesn't matter if my car breaks down. It doesn't matter if my house is a mess. It doesn't matter if my kids ate mac-n-cheese for dinner without and vegetables one day. It doesn't matter if I'm not a millionaire. It doesn't matter if I have holes in my socks. It doesn't matter if my nails aren't painted. It doesn't matter if the mom next to me looks more put together then I do. It doesn't matter if all of Emma's Christmas ornaments are in one spot on the tree (because she put them on herself). It doesn't matter if this person said this, and should have said that. It doesn't matter if there are toys spread out across the house 24/7. It doesn't matter if I don't clean my bathroom this weekend. It doesn't matter if Emma goes to school with her hair not brushed. It doesn't matter if Jackson gets chocolate on his new outfit at a wedding.

None of it matters.

What matters is that my family is happy and healthy. That's it.

So, in light of my new found positivity, I started to think about all the stuff that makes me crazy, and makes me focus on the negative. I'm trying (repeat, trying) to stop doing those things. Like...

Making unrealistic or impossible to reach goals.

I'm trying to create specific, achievable goals (tried to start this with my 2012 goals list which I just turned into my 2013 goals list). How am I supposed to reach a goal if I'm not clear on what it is?

Adapt to a planning system that I'm not going to stick with. 

I tried the daily routine charts. Nope. I tried the monthly calendar of 2012 goals (haha, that lasted a month). Nope. If the planning system I'm using isn’t working, then so be it. It's out. If it doesn't save me time, but makes me waste it, forget it.

Agonize over decisions I need to make.

I'm still not the most decisive person in the world, and probably will never be. Somehow, I find the smaller decisions much harder then the bigger ones! But instead of “Teeter Tottering” on decisions, I've started to just make them. Because you know what, 99% of the time, the stuff that I am agonizing over doesn't matter. Nothing in life is permanent. So if it doesn't work, trying something different!

Saying yes. All the time.

This one is still hard (ergo my earlier statement of this being a list of things that I am trying to do). I am a people pleaser, or at least thats my personality. I'm trying to not be afraid to say no, especially when I don’t have a minute to spare or when it takes away from something I already had planned. There will always be exceptions, but when I say yes to one thing, something else has to give. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish with my time. That's just not always easy to remember.

So there you have it. My new found positivity certainly isn't 100% of the time, and I still have my bad days and still get frustrated and anxious, but it is now outweighed with feeling absolutely blessed and lucky. I'm no celebrity, but I have a pretty amazing life, thanks mainly to these three crazies.

2012 Goals (Part 1)

Okay, so this is my third fourth attempt at a New Year's Resolution post, and the third fourth time is the charm right?

My first attempt was a post about how I was going to make New Year's "Objectives" and not "Resolutions" for multiple reasons, but I stopped myself, deleted the post, and started over.

My second attempt was then to write a post about my 2011 New Year's Resolution of Simplifying and how although I made progress last year, I still have a long way to go, so that was going to be my one resolution again for 2012.

Delete. Rinse. Repeat.

My third attempt was then to talk about how I was making this way too complicated (which was ironic considering I was trying to post about simplifying), and I was trying to have all these profound resolutions but I couldn't seem to boil them down like I wanted to.

But now I'm back to square one where I'm not making resolutions, but goals for next year. Resolutions get a bad rep, because no one ever keeps them. At least not the majority that's for sure. I'm a goal-oriented person, so this year, its all about 2012 Goals!

Instead of trying to make something all profound, I'm throwing in the towel and just posting everything that I want to achieve in 2012 (subject to change by the minute apparently). I'm going to try make things a little more specific this year. In no particular order...

Actually Budget

• Update budget spreadsheet for 2012 financial goals/anticipated expenses.
• Update budget spreadsheet weekly with actual expenses.
• Once a month, review, update spreadsheet, and add new budget goal for the following month.
• Reduce total credit card balances by 75% by December 31st, 2012.
• Start Emma & Jackson's college funds by March 31st.

Home Resolutions - Become a Better Do-It-Yourselfer

• Update DIY Home Improvement list and plan by January 31st.
• Complete six home improvement projects before December 31st.
• Start the great basement clean-out of 2012!!
• Set up a regular cleaning schedule to free up our weekend time for more fun with the babies!

Continue to Simplify

• Do a 2012 Brain Dump and re-evaluate it monthly.
• Complete Project Simplify by May 31st.
• De-clutter one "thing" a month. Whether that's a whole room, or just a closet.

Health - Take Better care of Me

• Get into a routine where working out three times a week is the norm.
• Set one smaller "healthy" goal to focus on each month.
• Get back into pre-Jackson shape (i.e. lose 13 pounds total)
• Lose 5 lbs by my 32nd Birthday (February 19th)
• Lose 10 lbs (total) by May 31st
• Lose 13 lbs (total) by the 4th of July
• Wean myself off of my daily coffee!
• Continue Photography as my hobby!
• Learn to actually use my speedlite as opposed to just turning it on and hoping for the best.
• Master my camera!

Keep on Blogging
Life passes us by way too fast. I have really enjoyed blogging and it's been almost like therapy for me. I can't believe that its been three years already! It's kind of amazing too about which posts get the most hits (the ones you wouldn't expect). So I really want to keep it up and maybe even try something new!

Since there are only about 5,435 goals that I want to accomplish next year, and most of them probably have multiple parts, I decided to create a 2012 Goals page! One of the things I love about blogging is that it is a great reminder for me on a lot of different things. This is the perfect way for me to keep track of my goals for next year and share any tips or tricks that I may find along the way!

So here goes nothing!

 

Update on New Year's Resolution: To Simplify

I was thinking the other day about how I was doing on my New Year's Resolution for 2011 about simplifying and although in some ways I was still doing okay, in most ways, I had lost the end goal. So, I can pretty much sum up with one word, how I am doing with simplifying my life...

FAIL

I was actually doing pretty good for a while, with things like Brain Dumps, keeping up with our budget, and even though I haven't updated my Project Simplify page yet, I actually did most of the activities (I just have to download the before and after pictures and post about it).

But, the good news is that once you fall off the wagon, it doesn't mean you are off the wagon for good. There is always another wagon coming behind you, ready to pick you up. Much like the commuter buses that practically run me off the road on a daily basis during my commute home. There is always one right behind me. Argh.

This is my attempt to get back on the wagon. This is my attempt to remind myself what it's all about. This is my attempt to remind myself that it is my choice to be stressed or not stressed in the majority of situations. This is my attempt to remind myself to do a better job at choosing my own response to situations. Now, the tough part with that one is where the PPD comes into play. A lot of my stress, or anxiety, is caused by the PPD and it's harder to shake now than it was before. For example, before any kind of event that we go to, whether its big or small, whether its a work event or just heading to my parent's house for dinner, I need to give both my kids a bath directly before leaving the house. Do I know that leaving the house with two young kids is bad enough? Yup. Do I know that I could give them a bath before nap time which would make leaving the house easier? Yup. Do I know that the world is not going to end if I don't give my kids a bath before going to my parent's house for hot dogs and hamburgers? Yup. Can I just say "forget it today"? Nope.

Despite all of that, and despite the fact that I know how stupid it is in my head, it gives me extreme anxiety to think about my kids not having a bath and not smelling like absolute heaven when they snuggle with their Mimi and Pop. It gives me extreme anxiety to think about giving them a bath before nap time, and having them wake up all sweaty, and not giving them another bath before leaving the house. So, although I am trying to remind myself to do a better job at choosing my own response to situations, it's not always going to work. And I'm okay with that. But in the end...

"Stress isn’t happening to me, it’s a reaction to a situation I’m allowing."

In some ways I have gotten a little better, like with the desperate need to clean the house like I had while at home with Jackson on maternity leave. Does it still bother me? Yup. But I don't have enough time to really be bothered by it and I can now make the choice to let the dishes sit for a night, or not sweep the floor until tomorrow because I would rather spend that time snuggling and playing with my babies.

Now, as far as the budget goes, that's pretty much been a total loss lately. :) While on maternity leave I didn't really pay attention to it. It was the last thing on my mind. I came back to work, updated it for a month, and then let it slip. So, instead of forcing myself to sit down for 2 hours and go back through the entire month of July, I'm scrapping July, and starting over in August. I'm choosing to not stress out about not following our budget in July. Remind me I said that when I realize that I am broke in August because of that. :)
 
So although its pretty much been a big FAIL lately, it's still on my mind and one of these days, I'll get back on track.

Project Simplify: Update & Hot Spot #2

Okay, so clearly this was a little bit of bad timing and unrealistic expectations on my part when it comes to Project Simplify because I am already behind and it's only week ONE! I managed to take before pictures of my closet and dresser, but that was about as far as I got. It ended up being kind of a bust this week because all three of us were sick with colds and it was pretty much all I could do to get out of bed everyday, come to work, and then make it through until Emma's bedtime which meant Mommy's bedtime was shortly behind.

I already know that Hot Spot #2 isn't going to happen this week either! Although I was actually really hoping that Simple Mom was going to pick something like this because we have the perfect project to work on. Since we are still going through the never ending transition (or at least it seems never ending) from our downstairs Living Room to Office to now Emma & Jackson's Playroom, this is the perfect Hot Spot for us to work on. So....

Hot Spot #2 is Paper Clutter!!

And I know just the area that we are going to start with! We have these two file cabinets that are still in the playroom taking up space that are not only FILLED to the brim with old paperwork/bills/documents, etc, but the pile on top is growing by the day. Part of the problem is Emma's daily "tidbits" that come home from daycare everyday. They say the cutest things about what she did that day, etc, that I can't bring myself to throw them away!! That, mixed with old paperwork from my wedding planning business, and now also the tons of little art projects from Emma that I also can't bare to throw away, makes for quite the unruly paper clutter!

So we will see how far we get with this one! It was certainly on my list of things for maternity leave, and I'll probably try to go back and finished Hot Spot #1 first too!

Project Simplify: Hot Spot #1

Bright and early this morning, Simple Mom revealed the first Hot Spot of Project Simplify!

Hot Spot #1 is your wardrobe and closet!!

Had this project happened a few weeks or months ago I would have had a much bigger job ahead of me and probably wouldn't have come close to getting it done within a week (especially Monday - Friday)! But since we turned our guest room into Jackson's room, I was kind of forced to go through a BUNCH of clothes when cleaning out his closet. It.was.a.big.mess. It took probably all weekend, and then several days after that to actually get rid of and donate most of what came out of that closet. I think we ended up donating about 8 - 10 bags of clothes, bridesmaids dresses, etc to goodwill and had to move some more stuff into the basement.

So had I not done that, I would be in big trouble. :) Here I was thinking that we would start off with something easy too ha!

Now, that's certainly not to say that I don't have my work cut out for me because although THAT closet is all cleaned out, it's been on my list of things to do for weeks now to do the same for my closet and dresser. I ended up procrastinating and leaving it on my maternity leave list of things to do, but this will be better if I can tackle it now.

My closet is pretty much a disaster zone right now. I had a ton of clothes in there, and then got pregnant and adding a ton of maternity clothes. Instead of taking all the clothes that don't fit out, I just crammed more in. PLUS, I also added more clothes that I ended up keeping from the big clean out of Jackson's closet. My dresser is also a big mess in that it's so full, I can barely open and clothes my drawers when all of our laundry is done. So, I certainly still have my work cut out for me.

So this week, as Simple Mom says, we we are going to touch every. single. item of clothing in our wardrobe, and make a decision whether it stays or goes. We will then find a new home for the items to pass on, organize the clothes that stay, and take inventory of what we might need in the future.

Here’s the basic plan of attack for this week:

1. Make sure all your clothes are washed and in one place.
2. Set aside all items you already know you don’t want — wearable in the “give” box; unwearable in the “toss” box.
3. Try on all the rest of your clothes — no cheating. (Umm...I'll be skipping this step haha)
4. Anything that doesn’t fit well, put in a separate pile.
5. Anything that isn’t the right color on you, put in the “give” box.
6. Anything that has un-mendable holes or stains, is unwearable, or underwear that’s seen better days, put in the “toss” box.
7. Once your closet and drawers are empty, clean them.
8. Hang, fold, and put away the clothes you know you’re keeping.
9. Reassess the items in your doesn’t-fit-well pile.
10. Tackle your shoes, jewelry, and other accessories.

For more information and tips on how to get started and what you might need, feel free to check out Simple Mom's Hot Spot #1 post. Here we go!

Budgeting in February = FAIL

So I am going to go ahead and call our first attempt at budgeting a FAIL. Ha! Since January was more of a "spend and then see" month, I was hoping February was going to be the month where we did a little better in the areas where we realized we were spending too much. In some areas I think we did, but in others, we didn't blink again. DOH!

Observations/Notes for Month Two:

• I am very glad that we started this whole budget thing early because it's clearly going to take a few to get used to and get the hang of.
• Just like January, we had a few changes that happened in February that took a little to get used to or wait to see the affects of (for example, getting my yearly raise, had to wait to see what that would look like and what that meant for my paycheck each week, etc).
• We ended up with a little extra income in February but not much, partly because we overestimated some of our "extra" income, but ended up getting some more from selling my piano.
• We had a few big expenses again in February, some of which we were planning for, some of which we knew we would transfer money for and some of which we didn't plan but decided to go for anyway (which is why I am calling it a FAIL for this month).
• As far as our expenses went for February, here is a breakdown of  how close we were to our estimates...(although this is probably WAY boring for you, it helps me figure things out in my head by going line by line...). :)
• Mortgage / Rent / Etc- Exactly what we expected. 
• Dog Walking/Sitting - Actually spent less than what we budgeted for.
• Cell Phone - This was something new. A long story but basically we are switching from our family plan to an individual plan on a different carrier for just me. Since Wes got an phone through work, he uses that more often than not, so it didn't make sense to keep our family plan. It was a little more expensive up front since we had to cancel early, but this will help lower our monthly payments in the future.
• Credit Cards - Overall we came out pretty close here. I'm not going to break these out but basically we paid a little extra on some to get them close to being paid off, and some we had estimated more than we had to pay because of paying off more in January. In March, it looks like we are going to be able to pay several off completely!
• Car Payment / Insurance - Exactly what we expected.
• Tolls (EZ Pass) - Budgeted $50, only had to renew once for $25.
• Gas - I think because of all of my extra doctors visits, this was a little higher then normal, so we ended up over our estimated amount, but not by much, so not bad!
• HOA Payment - Exactly what we expected. 
• Home Phone/Cable/Internet - About $15 higher than we budgeted for.
• Daycare - Exactly what we expected.
• Groceries - About $30 more than we budgeted for.
• Pet Wellness Plans - Exactly what we expected.
• Gas & Electric - About $4 more than we budgeted for. Ha!
• Netflix- Exactly what we expected.
• Student Loan - Exactly what we expected. 
• Parking & Costco - No parking or Costco expenses for March! Woo hoo!
• As far as our "unplanned expenses" went for the month, based on January, I put together a budget for these as well for February...which I guess technically means that they are no longer unplanned. :)
• We had another unplanned vet bill because Shamus needed two rounds of antibiotics and we found out Arby is beginning renal failure so is now on prescription cat food.
• We also spent some money for Jackson's room and the playroom which we were expecting to do, but didn't necessarily budget for.
• We still have medical bills rolling in from my late sonograms in 2010 when we were under my insurance.
• The two last categories are where we can make a big difference I think, and those are eating out (including weekly lunches) and general purchases. Out of our "eating out" line item, over half of that was spent on eating lunch when we didn't get to make lunch the night before or have time to get it ready in the morning. We also spent more in our general purchases than I had budgeted for.

Lessons Learned from Month Two:

• I still need to take better notes on the general purchases that we do and figure out the best way to handle these type of expenses where its easy to spend money that you don't budget for. Maybe once we establish our budget for the month, Wes and I take out cash to spend for the month and when it's gone, it's gone!
• The more flexible we are the better! I think this is something that is going to change on a monthly basis, for example, things like raises (Wes's will come this summer), or changes in daycare costs (we have a big update there to come at a later time), etc. So having a tool that is easily changed and updated really helps keep track.
• It's also been working well where at the end of the month, I take a few minutes to print out our bank statements and go down line item one by one to make sure I caught everything. Although this takes time, I find that there are always a few expenses that I missed during my weekly checks.

Notes & Changes for Month Three:

• There are a few increases that we need to watch out for in March like the final Sprint payment on top of our first AT&T payment, daycare costs will go up for the month of March specifically, swim class for Emma potentially, and we really don't know what having a baby is going to do to our monthly expenses with this new insurance!
• I seem to be doing a pretty good job at the estimating part (so at least that part isn't a FAIL) but now we really need to concentrate on what a budget is supposed to do, help you cut back. So now that we know exactly where we are spending our money, and can pretty closely predict what's going to happen next month, we need to actually work on reducing those monthly expenses (which is the hard part). :)

Project Simplify!

If you happen to check out one of the blogs that I follow (list on the left of my blog) called Simple Mom, you may have seen that she is kicking off Project Simplify starting a week from today! It couldn't have come at a better time and is exactly what I need to keep my New Year's Resolution going!

Here is the quick description of Project Simplify...

With spring right around the corner (it can't come fast enough if you ask me), it's about that time for spring cleaning and although I have already started to try to get myself on this path of picking one area at a time to organize, I think this is just what I need to keep going. For five weeks, starting on Monday, March 7 to Friday, April 8th, I (being guided by Simple Mom) will be tackling five different areas in our house. Now, obviously we are going to be having a baby right in the middle of that window, so we will see how far we get at first, but it will be a good project to continue and hopefully complete during maternity leave. Every Monday, Simple Mom will announce the week’s “hot spot.” That Friday, we will share before and after photos.

If anyone else is interested in participating, all you h ave to do is post your “before” and “after” experience (photos are a must!) on your own blog, then link to it on Friday’s Simple Mom post. Or you can just follow along with me and I will post about what the hot spots are from Simple Mom and hopefully keep up with it! I think the hardest part will be that the weekend's aren't really involved, so all the organizing will have to be done during the week. With small projects it may not be too bad, but if Simple Mom rolls out like the entire kitchen, that may have to wait until maternity leave!

So stay tuned for more!!

New Year's Resolution (Budget) Update!

Well, with everything going on lately with Jackson, I started to trail off a little on my budget tracking but got back on the horse this week because I really wanted to see what things looked like after not changing any spending habits, but just tracking how we spend and where. This was actually a really good distraction so it worked out well!

I actually did pretty good over the month of January keeping things updated until last week. Here is a little bit about what my system was and some lessons learned for moving into February.

• Set up budget tracking sheet starting from a template I found on Bank of America's website. You can read more about how I set up my sheet here.
• Set time aside every Monday and Friday at lunch to do a quick review of what we had spent/earned over the last few days.
• Monday's and Friday's seemed to work out well because we get paid on Friday's and it was easy to keep track of our weekend spending on Monday afternoons.

Lessons Learned from Month One:

• Lesson Learned #1: Do not put in any advanced payments or income in the spreadsheet until it actually happens. For example, we use online bill pay. It got a little confusing when I would "take credit" for paying a bill in the spreadsheet when it was just set up, as opposed to waiting until the money actually came out of our account. This made reviewing and tracking things a bit harder. The same applied for our income. I can easily look up how much my paycheck is going to be for the following week, but found that it was easier to track if I waited until the actual money was in our account to "take credit" for it in our spreadsheet.
• Lesson Learned #2: The more line items you add in the spreadsheet the better. I started lumping a few things together, but found as we spent money, they really needed to be broken out. I ended up adding 10 different "Unplanned" categories by the end of the month which helps me understand what exactly we spent money on.
• Lesson Learned #3: Use comments to make sure you remember important things. At the end of the month, it was clear that we spent more than we brought in for January (more to come on this) but our bank account didn't look all that bad because we ended up transferring money. That wouldn't have shown up in our spreadsheet unless I made a note. Ideally, we want to get to the point where transferring money is only an emergency kind of thing.
• Lesson Learned #4: I'm not sure I figured out the best way to do this yet but I need to find a better way to track any credit card purchases throughout the month. I mainly used our online banking that shows all of our accounts, including mortgage, etc. But we had a few out of the ordinary expenses (like surgery for Shamus) that we put some money on a credit card for. So unless we paid for something using our debit card, it didn't show up on our spreadsheet.

Okay, so I know this is probably really boring to most people and probably way TMI that you don't care to know about but I figured that budgeting is something that a lot of people struggle with (us for sure) so why not share what works well and what doesn't for us. My mom is probably freaking out thinking I am going to post all this financial information online, but I know better than that so don't worry mom....I'll be really general. Ha!

Observations/Notes for Month One:

• January was a "learning" month for sure. We had a few changes from last year that we had to wait and see how things shook out and we certainly had a few surprises along the way that we will hopefully get to avoid in some of the upcoming months (things like changing insurance companies so seeing exactly how that was going to affect our income).
• Our overall income was pretty close to what we were expecting but was a bit lower for the month because of our insurance changes.
• We had several expenses this month that we weren't planning for which ended up ultimately leading to our need to transfer some money. Things like:
• A huge emergency vet bill to cover unexpected surgery for Shamus.
• My student loan payment kicking back on.
• A big increase in medical bills (from December that hit in January) because of our multiple sonograms, which is exactly why we switched insurance plans.
• An unexpected car repair bill of almost $200 for a new windshield.
• But one good thing about spending more money then we were planning was because I paid extra on a few of our credit cards to get some small bills paid off before Daycare payment #2 starts. We actually do pretty good with credit card purchases, but tend to get a few small ones that just linger around. So although we spent more, some of the that money went to "good" as well.
• As far as how much we spent on our "normal" expenses versus how much I estimated was pretty close.
• Things like mortgage, line of credit, daycare, car payments, insurance payments, gas and electric, etc (the big hitters) were right on target.
• We didn't spend as much money as we were expecting to in a couple of places like cost of dog walking (because of snow days), tolls, Costco (diapers, wipes, etc).
• We spent more than our estimate in a few areas like credit card payments (where we sometimes made two payments in one month, or I ended up paying more to get rid of a payment), parking costs, gas and groceries (we were over $200 higher than our estimate here).

So where does all of this leave us? This exercise really helped me understand exactly where we are spending money and exactly where we need to focus on cutting back. So here are our focus items for February:

• Plan better or include estimate for home improvement (we spent $271 in January for new kitchen faucet, bathroom fixtures, etc)
• Plan better or include estimate for Birthday presents/gifts for family and friends (we spent $195 in January and I was surprised to see how high this expense got so quickly)
• Reduce purchases of the liquor store (we spent $106 in January at the liquor store which isn't terrible, but we could probably cut back here a little - sorry honey!)
• Reduce money spent on ordering food & buying lunch (we spent $238 in January so we could certainly cut out some expenses here)
• General purchases (we spent $314 in January on just stuff like at target, or baby clothes, etc). So we need to keep a better watch on those small store trips, because they can sure add up!

We have a better idea of what our income will look like in February but I need to go in and add some additional estimates for some of the "unplanned" expenses, and update some of our February estimates based on January actuals. I also need to figure out a good way to keep track of anything that we end up putting on our credit cards (hopefully nothing)!

If you made it this far...you deserve an award!!

Brain Dump Update & Weekend Goals!

I never really expected the Brain Dump to be as popular as it was (I got several emails and comments about it) but I was really excited to see that other people found it helpful as well!! Although I can't say that since I have done the Brain Dump I have never had a bad night of sleep, and I am sure there will always be nights when you can't turn your brain off, but I have noticed a difference in my stress level and have certainly had fewer nights where I can't sleep (at least because of my brain not turning off).

I have been knocking things off the list slowly, but knocking them off none-the-less. Below is a picture of what the Brain Dump looks like as of today. The items that have the arrows next to them are all things that I am planning on knocking off the list this weekend.

Note: The picture isn't of my list in its entirety, just about the top half, but it at least shows everything in light gray that I have completed so far.

Also, stay tuned for an update (hopefully next week) on how the budget planning/monitoring is going! So far, it's going really well! I was just going to wait until we have a full month of budget tracking done so I could comment on what went well, what didn't go so well and what I am going to do different in the future!

New Year's Resolution Step 3: Organized Brain Dump

Although this step probably should have been Step 2 in my New Year's Resolution, it ended up being Step 3 and that's okay! I had been starring at my brain dump for a few days now and decided it was time to take it to the next step so that I could actually do something with it! The next step was to categorize and organize. I wasn't really sure what the process was going to look like so I just sat down with my BFF (MS Excel) and started playing around. I thought about doing this step by hand like my brain dump, but since I wasn't quite sure what the end product was going to look like, I decided to use Excel so I could easily move things around and adjust the format as I felt comfortable.

After a few trial and errors with how I wanted things set up, this is what I came up with; a very simple spreadsheet that will allow to me sort my tasking in a couple of different ways. You will notice that there are no due dates or tasks numbers associated with each line, and that was done for a reason. This way, I won't be stressed out or get down on myself for missing a due date and I can shift around my task list and if I am feeling productive, then maybe I'll tackle a high priority item, or if I am having a rough day or week, maybe I will look for something low priority to tackle. I set a goal for each task as to which month I would like to have things done by, and assigned a priority because there are some things that just physically have to get done before others.

The text is probably hard to see, but the point here is that I can easily look at my list, and with one click of the mouse I can see my high, medium and low priority things are. I can also see which month I would ideally have each tasking done by. And frankly, just because it feels really good to be able to cross something off the list, I added a "Complete?" category so I get the satisfaction of crossing something out and watching my list get smaller and smaller!

It's probably hard to tell by the picture but with one other small click of the mouse, I can re-sort my list and check out everything that I wanted to get done by month. That way, I can try to concentrate on even the low priority tasking that I was hoping to get done in January, like creating a watermark for my blog pictures. Could I do that in March? Of course, but the sooner I do it, the better. At the same time, I'm not going to stress myself out and make sure that I get that complete in January say over something higher priority like getting Jackson signed up on our insurance plan so he is covered on day one.

Whenever I complete one of my tasks, I change the font to a light gray and cross that list out! I could just delete it but it makes me feel good to see those babies crossed off! So, so far so good! I don't really yet know how this is going to keep reducing my stress because if I don't keep up with it, it could make me more stressed out, but I still am at least feeling good that its all out of my head and written down and somewhat organized. It's also really easy to add things to, so as I think of random things in the middle of the night, I can just add them to the list (the next day of course). :)

New Year's Resolution Step 2: A New Budget

Okay, so technically I am skipping a step and jumping onto one of my tasks before prioritizing my entire list, but because I was feeling pretty motivated after my brain dump the other day, I decide to actually start working on a big one. This is one of those things that constantly creeps up on the priority list in my head and seems to pop up in my head more often then most others. Although it's not complete (not by far), and its one that will probably take a few steps and will always be a work in progress, if felt good to start things moving in the right direction. I'm talking about starting a budget.

Wes and I are by no means rich, and we certainly have our financial struggles just like a lot of people but I think we are headed for a pretty big lifestyle change when Jackson comes along. Right now, we are pretty conscious about how we spend money, but if there is something within reason that we want, we tend to be pretty impulsive and just go buy it. For example, if I want a new pair of shoes, I tend to just go out and buy them (and more often than not, I come home with two new pairs), or if Emma needs some new jammies, I will go out, get her a few jammies, and inevitably come home with other outfits, new hair bows and a new pair of shoes for her. With gigantic daycare payment #2 starting soon (which will actually make our daycare payment total more than our mortgage payment), our impulsive buying habits are about to change. And with my New Year's Resolution, I'm trying to get ahead of the game and start planning and living that lifestyle now, so when the double daycare payments start in May, it's hopefully not as much of a shock and we can somewhat "practice" for a few months first.

So...step number one was to create a monthly budget estimating and tracking sheet (you will get a good idea of how much I love spreedsheets here). Ha! I'm a nerd.

I started out with a simple spreadsheet that I downloaded off of Bank of America's website here and updated a few things. First, I made a new "Estimate" and "Actual" column for each month of 2011. For me, it's important to note which months have those extra pay days in them so we can be aware of when we can potentially put a little extra money away. So this way, I can update those months that have 4 weeks vs. 5 weeks. I then went through and included our income and expenses for each month in the "Estimate" category.

Again, because I am an engineer, I love data, so I used as many 'actuals' as I could, meaning I found out how much we paid for Gas & Electric for each month in 2010, and used that as an estimate for each month in 2011. I did the same thing for each of our monthly expenses and tried to put in the 'worst case scenario' for things like grocery shopping. For example, there are weeks we spend $120 at the store and weeks we spend $200 at the store. So to be conservative, I included an estimate for $200 each week to hopefully account for some of the additional cost that Jackson will end up throwing at us.

Now that I have all of our monthly estimates done, my next step is to record our "actuals" for the month of January. This will help us identify more specifically where we are spending our money and where we need to cut back on.

Above is a picture of my super sweet spreadsheet that I am so proud of! Before my mom freaks out (and I know you will mom), I took out a lot of our expenses, made everything generic and made up numbers for everything. So none of the numbers shown below are our actual numbers (always have to have the mom disclaimer going haha). Even if some creepy Internet person blows up the picture, none of the information is accurate. The bottom line of the spreadsheet will show us if we expect to be positive or negative that month, and as we track our actuals each month we can make adjustments accordingly.

PS: If anyone is interested in trying out the spreadsheet as well, or modifying it to fit your family, I'd be happy to send you the example spreadsheet in MS Excel for you to try!

New Year's Resolution Step 1: Brain Dump

I was actually very surprised but I got several emails and comments on my recent post about my one and only New Year's Resolution - Simplifying. I have to thank everyone for all of the encouragement, kind words and suggestions to help me get started! It absolutely has kept me focused on the end goal and given me a good push to get started, despite my incredible level of exhaustion and inability to stay awake past 8:00PM at night. Ha! Like I said in my post, who knows how long this will take, it certainly will not be an overnight fix and a lot of the details are still TBD, but in order to keep things simple, I decided to start at absolute square one, with a "Brain Dump".

I have been doing some looking around on the Internet on some pretty cool sites that have great ideas and I came across this blog, called Success Your Way. Granted, the title is a little cheesy but it actually has a TON of stuff and some very cool articles and helpful tips for just about anything. In checking out the site, I came across an article on Reducing Stress. One of their ideas was to start with a "brain dump". Basically, the idea behind it is that when you’re brain is full of everything you’re trying to remember and accomplish, it leaves little room for actually doing anything. So, rather then constantly spinning your wheels and stressing yourself out about this endless list that circles your brain, you simple do “brain dump” and get it all out onto paper. Okay, so you are probably thinking that it's no different then a to-do list, and that's what I was thinking too, but I did it, and it actually really helped just to get everything out of my head! Once I finished my brain dump and it was all out of my head and written down, I took a few minutes to start to organize my list.

Now, keep in mind that a brain dump isn’t supposed to be pretty or organized, which I found myself immediately doing and wanting to type it up on the computer in a cool spreadsheet with due dates, etc (okay, I'm an engineer and we love spreadsheets haha). As the website says, "the key to successfully brain dumping is to actually write down every little thing that’s on your mind – no matter how small, silly or inconsequential." I think overall I did a pretty good job. My list has 36 things on it as of now, and has everything from packing my hospital bag in preparation for Jackson's arrival, to creating a watermark in Photoshop for the pictures I post on the blog, to starting Emma and Jackson's college funds, to creating a sustainable and easily trackable budget. Yup, that's my official brain dump in all its glory shown above!

As I read back through my list, it became pretty clear that there were about 5 different categories that I could file everything into.

1. House Needs
2. Financial Needs
3. Getting Ready for Baby #2
4. Overall Organization
5. General

My next step is to walk through each category and prioritize the list accordingly. Since my due date with Jackson is March 23rd, obviously there are things in Category 3 that will need to be done before, and are a higher priority then say, cleaning out the inside of both of our cars. But I have to say, that it truly does feel better to have everything out of my head and on paper as a start. It was kind of amazing to see how many things came flooding out as soon as a sat down. No wonder when I wake up at 2:00AM and my list starts running through my head I can't go back to sleep! These aren't necessarily life long goals, or wishes by any means, they are simply the things that keep me awake at night thinking about how much I have to do in my everyday life.

To be continued....

Simplifying - Focus for 2011

Naturally, as 2010 comes to an end, despite the craziness that the Christmas holiday brings, I have started to think more and more about 2011 and the big changes that next year will bring. I am already a mom, but in three short months, I'll be a mom of two. Whoa. Hold the phone.

This year was certainly a challenge to get ready for the holidays, with Emma being sick, then I got sick and just an overall stressed out couple of months. And just like every other year, I have convinced myself that next year will be different. Christmas cards will be ordered and mailed weeks before Christmas, presents will be purchased and wrapped in November, cookies will be baked and frozen weeks in advance. Ummm....yeah right. If I can't do it with one child this year, how in the world am I going to do it, and do it better next year with two?!

I am going to do it by simplifying.

Simplifying will be my one and only New Year's resolution for 2011.

Now, how this is exactly going to be done is still to be determined. :) Chaos stresses me out. Disorganization stresses me out. Having said that, I have recently learned, what I think will be a strong life lesson, in that it is my choice to be stressed or not stressed in the majority of situations. So in 2011, as I simplify my life, I am going to do a better job as choosing my own response to situations. Granted, it's unrealistic to say that I will never be stressed out in 2011. But my main goal is to at least reduce or minimize the amount of stress I will have. I will inevitably be stressed about my job, or when Emma or Jackson is sick, but I will not be stressed out about little things, like Christmas cards, and planning birthday parties and what we are going to have for dinner next Tuesday because Emma has tumblee bees and I have a meeting that goes until 5:00PM and we have to get a birthday card and milk on the way home. Just like Tsh from Simple Mom says in her blog about how stress is a choice.

"Stress isn’t happening to me, it’s a reaction to a situation I’m allowing."

Take that to the bank and cash it. :) Now like I said before, who knows exactly how this simplifying is actually going to happen, but my first step, and it's a doozy, is going to be me working on giving myself permission to be human. Being a mom is hard. So starting in 2011, I am going to give myself permission to do things like let our kids be kids, let a mess wait until tomorrow, ask for help more, sleep in and not feel guilty even though I am a working mom and I hire a babysitter so I can catch a break. When I think back over 2010, the times that I was the happiest, was when life was simple.

Like when Emma would fall asleep and snuggle with Mommy...

...or when it was time for a bottle, which forced us to step away from life and take a break, even if it was just for a few minutes...

...or when we were snowed in, and the only thing we HAD to do that day was play in the snow...

...or when it was naked time after a bath (giggle)...

...or when it was all about stealing kisses during a family photo-shoot...

...or when it was doing something for someone we love and lost, with the people that we love.


2011 = Simplify