Four Things to Stop Doing Today...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

This is one of those posts where I don't exactly know where it's going to go, but I just feel like typing some things out so bear with me! I don't really even know who reads this blog, or how many people do (okay, so I know that part because I can see the stats) but really, I don't know who reads it. I'm not trying to be one of the super popular bloggers with thousands of followers, and frankly, that would scare the living daylights out of me! I post about totally random topics and despite the fact that I have no idea if anyone even cares, I still like it. It forces me sometimes to sit down and try to work through things in my head. I love to go through my old post, especially about the kids, because it's so easy to forget the little things when life gets so crazy. I will often go back and read my old postpartum depression posts as well. Sometimes it's hard to read those, and it doesnt take long for that same feeling in the pit of my stomach to come back. But sometimes it makes me proud. Proud to see how far I have come. Proud that I was willing to share my story, even if it fell on deaf ears. I will be the first to tell you about how HORRIBLE my memory is. So my blog often is a great reminder. It reminds me about all the goals that I have set. It reminds me to keep things simple. It reminds me about what is truly important to me. It reminds me about the things that truly make me happy.

Like I said, I have no idea where this is going haha.

One of the things I have been thinking about lately is not necessarily things that I want to do (although the list of things to do is always there), but things I want to STOP doing.

I don't know what it was, but I feel like there was a mental switch that I made a while ago. I can't pinpoint a particular day, or event which caused the switch, but whatever it was, I've been enjoying the results. I'm still struggling with anxiety every now and then, but feel like I have a much better handle on things . Heck, I even let Emma go to a Birthday party without having a bath first!! I know! That's big!!

I have started to look at things in a much more positive way, instead of dwelling on the negatives. This probably seems pretty cheesy, but I've felt happier over the past say six months then I have felt in a long time. Not that I was unhappy before by any means, but maybe I was just focusing too much on things that weren't going like I wanted them to, instead of focusing on how many things were going so well.

I feel incredibly blessed and instead of feeling all "woe is me" like I have done a lot in the past, I feel blessed every single day now. I have an amazing husband, who loves his family more than anything. I have two beautiful, crazy, happy children who make me laugh every single day. I have a job that I love (most of the time). I have a roof over my head, food on the table, an amazing family on both my side and Wes's side and I'm lucky enough to have financial stability (at least so far...stupid sequestration). What else do you need in life?

It doesn't matter if life gets crazy for a while. It doesn't matter if my car breaks down. It doesn't matter if my house is a mess. It doesn't matter if my kids ate mac-n-cheese for dinner without and vegetables one day. It doesn't matter if I'm not a millionaire. It doesn't matter if I have holes in my socks. It doesn't matter if my nails aren't painted. It doesn't matter if the mom next to me looks more put together then I do. It doesn't matter if all of Emma's Christmas ornaments are in one spot on the tree (because she put them on herself). It doesn't matter if this person said this, and should have said that. It doesn't matter if there are toys spread out across the house 24/7. It doesn't matter if I don't clean my bathroom this weekend. It doesn't matter if Emma goes to school with her hair not brushed. It doesn't matter if Jackson gets chocolate on his new outfit at a wedding.

None of it matters.

What matters is that my family is happy and healthy. That's it.

So, in light of my new found positivity, I started to think about all the stuff that makes me crazy, and makes me focus on the negative. I'm trying (repeat, trying) to stop doing those things. Like...

Making unrealistic or impossible to reach goals.

I'm trying to create specific, achievable goals (tried to start this with my 2012 goals list which I just turned into my 2013 goals list). How am I supposed to reach a goal if I'm not clear on what it is?

Adapt to a planning system that I'm not going to stick with. 

I tried the daily routine charts. Nope. I tried the monthly calendar of 2012 goals (haha, that lasted a month). Nope. If the planning system I'm using isn’t working, then so be it. It's out. If it doesn't save me time, but makes me waste it, forget it.

Agonize over decisions I need to make.

I'm still not the most decisive person in the world, and probably will never be. Somehow, I find the smaller decisions much harder then the bigger ones! But instead of “Teeter Tottering” on decisions, I've started to just make them. Because you know what, 99% of the time, the stuff that I am agonizing over doesn't matter. Nothing in life is permanent. So if it doesn't work, trying something different!

Saying yes. All the time.

This one is still hard (ergo my earlier statement of this being a list of things that I am trying to do). I am a people pleaser, or at least thats my personality. I'm trying to not be afraid to say no, especially when I don’t have a minute to spare or when it takes away from something I already had planned. There will always be exceptions, but when I say yes to one thing, something else has to give. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish with my time. That's just not always easy to remember.

So there you have it. My new found positivity certainly isn't 100% of the time, and I still have my bad days and still get frustrated and anxious, but it is now outweighed with feeling absolutely blessed and lucky. I'm no celebrity, but I have a pretty amazing life, thanks mainly to these three crazies.

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