Update on New Year's Resolution: To Simplify

Friday, July 22, 2011

I was thinking the other day about how I was doing on my New Year's Resolution for 2011 about simplifying and although in some ways I was still doing okay, in most ways, I had lost the end goal. So, I can pretty much sum up with one word, how I am doing with simplifying my life...


I was actually doing pretty good for a while, with things like Brain Dumps, keeping up with our budget, and even though I haven't updated my Project Simplify page yet, I actually did most of the activities (I just have to download the before and after pictures and post about it).

But, the good news is that once you fall off the wagon, it doesn't mean you are off the wagon for good. There is always another wagon coming behind you, ready to pick you up. Much like the commuter buses that practically run me off the road on a daily basis during my commute home. There is always one right behind me. Argh.

This is my attempt to get back on the wagon. This is my attempt to remind myself what it's all about. This is my attempt to remind myself that it is my choice to be stressed or not stressed in the majority of situations. This is my attempt to remind myself to do a better job at choosing my own response to situations. Now, the tough part with that one is where the PPD comes into play. A lot of my stress, or anxiety, is caused by the PPD and it's harder to shake now than it was before. For example, before any kind of event that we go to, whether its big or small, whether its a work event or just heading to my parent's house for dinner, I need to give both my kids a bath directly before leaving the house. Do I know that leaving the house with two young kids is bad enough? Yup. Do I know that I could give them a bath before nap time which would make leaving the house easier? Yup. Do I know that the world is not going to end if I don't give my kids a bath before going to my parent's house for hot dogs and hamburgers? Yup. Can I just say "forget it today"? Nope.

Despite all of that, and despite the fact that I know how stupid it is in my head, it gives me extreme anxiety to think about my kids not having a bath and not smelling like absolute heaven when they snuggle with their Mimi and Pop. It gives me extreme anxiety to think about giving them a bath before nap time, and having them wake up all sweaty, and not giving them another bath before leaving the house. So, although I am trying to remind myself to do a better job at choosing my own response to situations, it's not always going to work. And I'm okay with that. But in the end...
"Stress isn’t happening to me, it’s a reaction to a situation I’m allowing."
In some ways I have gotten a little better, like with the desperate need to clean the house like I had while at home with Jackson on maternity leave. Does it still bother me? Yup. But I don't have enough time to really be bothered by it and I can now make the choice to let the dishes sit for a night, or not sweep the floor until tomorrow because I would rather spend that time snuggling and playing with my babies.

Now, as far as the budget goes, that's pretty much been a total loss lately. :) While on maternity leave I didn't really pay attention to it. It was the last thing on my mind. I came back to work, updated it for a month, and then let it slip. So, instead of forcing myself to sit down for 2 hours and go back through the entire month of July, I'm scrapping July, and starting over in August. I'm choosing to not stress out about not following our budget in July. Remind me I said that when I realize that I am broke in August because of that. :)
So although its pretty much been a big FAIL lately, it's still on my mind and one of these days, I'll get back on track.

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