To My Babies...
After the craziness of the day is done, after dinner is over, after bath time and bottles are done for the night and as you are playing for that last half hour before bedtime, I can't help but think about what life will be like for you as you grow up. I start to wonder what you will be like as you get older and if I am going to be the great Mommy that you need and deserve. Am I going to be able to instill in you, the values that my parents have instilled in me? Am I going to be able to provide the unconditional love and support that you need? Am I going to be enough for you? Only time will tell.
The other night, I started to think about what I want for you in your future. Even though I came up with a lot of different things, most of all, I want you to be happy.
I want you to be happy with yourselves. I want you to be happy with the life that you are living. I want you to be happy with whatever decisions that you have made in your lifetime. I want you to feel fulfilled, just like I do because God chose you two to be my babies. There are millions of people out there, trudging through life without feeling successful or fulfilled, and living their lives well below their potential. Although your definition of success may change for you from year to year, wherever you end up, I hope and pray that you live up to your potential, because I can already see what you two are capable of. I hope that you have the courage to follow your heart and intuition in whatever you do.
Emma Kathryn, you have a light inside of you, something of which I have never seen before. You have an incredible ability to light up the room, the minute you walk in. You are beautiful, both inside and out. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.
Jackson Douglas, you have such an incredible level of determination in one little package, and your strength is amazing. I have absolutely no doubt, that you can tackle any challenge that comes your way. You have an extreme passion, for everything that you do. Don't ever lose that.
You two changed Mommy's life the minute you came into this world. There was a piece of me missing, until God sent you to me.
As your Mommy, I have the opportunity to shape your future and its not something that I take lightly. Although there are values that I want to instill in you from my upbringing, I don't want you to just what I do. I don't want you to tell me what you think I want to hear. I can only hope that I can teach you to consider others with your choices, impress upon you that there are consequences to your actions, and teach you exactly how important it is to care, in everything that you do.
I want to be able to teach you, although I may not have always done it well myself, to handle detours on the road to success. To accept and embrace that when a setback occurs, it simply means that there is another opportunity just waiting for you around the next corner. You are going to experience detours in life, and a lot of what I think about while watching you play is how, if I could, I would want to shield you from those detours and hurt. But there are going to be times where you need to have those experiences. To build your character, to teach you how to handle tough situations, and all I want is for you to be able to relay on what you are taught throughout your life to do so. The way you choose to act or react to the circumstances in your life will define the results you get.
Along with caring, I hope that I can show you how to be thankful for what you have, and show that gratitude to others. Its easy to lose sight of exactly what you have, and its certainly something that may come and go, but I hope that you will always come back to it in your life. I will never be able to express the gratitude that I have for God for all of the blessings that he has given me. He sent me your Daddy. He sent me you. When I was pregnant with both of you, we had a couple of scares. Although I didn't realize it at the time, when I look back now, I think it was God's way of reminding me to be grateful for what I have. Daddy and I are incredibly blessed that you were sent to us. Happy and healthy babies. I will never forget that.
So as you grow in life and have ups and downs, I want you to be thankful for what you’ve already accomplished and all your strengths. I want you to take a breath, and acknowledge all the good things in your lives, even on the days where things get tough. I count my blessings every single day that you are in my life.
Success is something that is hard to define, and when I think about what to tell you about success I find it hard to put into words. My definition of success has certainly changed over the years, from getting good grades in school, to being chosen as team captain on sports teams, to making as much money as I could, to building a family. My only definition of success now, is to raise to happy, healthy, caring, gracious babies. So no matter what your definition of success turns out to be, I hope that you reach it.
At the time of this letter, I am only thirty one years old, so I am no expert in life. I have had ups and downs, and met very interesting people along the way so I can only offer you some of the things that I have learned through that journey. There are a lot of people in the world that don't value others. Always remember that everyone has something to offer or to teach you. Sometimes you just might have to slow down to see it.
Don't shy away from the hard things in life. Most often, the right thing to do is the most difficult. So face it head on.
Whenever I see you two playing together, it makes me hope and pray that you will always remember your bond as brother and sister. There are going to be times when you fight. There are going to be times when you aren't speaking to each other. You aren't always going to agree on what the other is doing. You aren't always going to think that what your brother or sister is doing is the right thing. All I can hope is that you always remember that you are family. No matter what. Nothing can break that tie. Nothing.
I am sure that there are many things that I am leaving out, and many other things that I want to say to you. I just want you to know, that I wish you all the happiness in the world, because that is what you have given me.
For eternity,
Mommy
