Mothering Through the Storm

Friday, August 5, 2011

The other day I was checking out the Motherhood Your Way blog that usually has some pretty cool stuff and I found this post about Mothering Through the Storm. I was pretty intrigued by the title so I checked it out thinking it was going to be a post about being a mom when life gets a little crazy.

I was wrong.

Here are the first couple of lines of the post:
"The lightning struck their kitchen. The refrigerator exploded. The faucets and light bulbs melted. The food, scattered papers, and personal belongings were petrified."
"Then the fire began — it spread via the ceiling and attic, pushing flames and smoke through the entire house. And just like that my brother and his family lost everything."
"But the worst part is my mom watched it all."
I was hooked. The blog goes on to talk about what happened during the fire, and how the writer's mom was standing in the midst of this fire, imagining her youngest son, inside and suffocating by smoke, or even burning to death. (I know...horrible). She goes on to describe how here mom called her, screaming, and how she left her family in the blink of an eye and drover to her brother's house in a flash. Luckily, everyone was safe and sound as her brother and his wife left the house prior to the fire starting.

Since the day Emma was born, I have always thought the exact thing as what she wrote about, how, as a mother, your worst nightmare is to have your kids leave this world before you. To watch it happen (or think you’re watching it happen) is even worse.

The next thing that Amanda writes about is being back together with her family, and how she then decided to be her brother’s gatekeeper. No one would donate, call or help without going through her first. Her brother and his family then moved in with Amanda and she would watch her niece during the day and cook dinner for everyone at night.

This is where I started to feel incredibly inadequate because of how I feel like I struggle with just my life in general, and keeping up with it. Let alone in the midst of something like this.

Amanda then realized something, something that I hadn't yet realized but it very much hit home with me.

"Being a mother also means being a daughter and a sister."
She talks about how her children need to see her rushing out the door at a moment’s notice to comfort her own mother. They need to see her open our house and make it home for her brother. Her children need to understand that her job isn’t just to take care of them and be the fairy-godmother of their little world.

I honestly never really even thought of it like that. I thought, that my kids need to know that they are my TOP PRIORITY, and that's it. Although that is a big part of it, what Amanda was talking about really made me think. Like she says, even though we are moms, motherhood is not our only role.

I certainly resonated with what she was saying, and the more I thought about it, the more I also want my kids to see me as a full woman. Loving, encouraging, and honoring others so they will know how to do the same for theirs. In my head, it's also very important to me to let them see the value of the hard work that I (and not just me, but Wes as well) put in everyday to be able to provide for them. There have been a lot of nights (and mornings) lately where I haven't gotten to see my babies because of work. On those days, I certainly feel like a piece is missing from me, and it makes me realize exactly how important even that one hour with them in the mornings are to me. At the same time, I want them to know that I do those things not just for them, but for our family. I do what I can to go above and beyond at work so I can get those higher performance ratings, so I can get those few extra percents in my yearly raise. Whether its ends up allowing us to do Mommy and Me Gymnastics, or swim lessons, whether its allows us to squeak in another family vacation, whether its saving for their college, or signing up for life insurance to make sure that no matter what happens, our family is provided for.

I want them to know, not just what being a mom is about, but what being a PARENT is about, and all of the different pieces to the puzzle.

1 comment :

  1. Thanks for sharing. Also made me think of some of the parenting books I've read that say my kids need to see me loving my spouse first, in order for everything else in the house to run smoothly. I often forget all those facets to my life: being a wife, a friend, a parent, a mom, an employee, etc.


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